What Was I Thinking?

I started writing this about a month ago….I can’t exactly remember what it was about but I had these numbered sentences….what is written in italics is what I think today? Do I even think today?
1. When I don’t hear from someone for a very long time, I look in the newspaper obituaries. Well this is scary. Who haven’t I heard from? Sally has been in Tibet and China so not her….Most of my life long friends are just that and mostly they don’t live around here and I rarely here from them. When I do, we just pick up where we left off. I like that.
2. I am exactly the same person I was when I was 15 and that really bums me out. That in itself is pretty interesting, I think. But what is really interesting, is that I am seeing that whole life implication! I think that maybe it is a facet of wisdom. Not to enter a ‘deep’ place, as Lolly calls it when she has no idea what I am talking about…but maybe as we get older we do make spontaneous connections over all kinds of trivialities that happened decades before….that would be called connecting the dots. Very cool. Actually it might be kind of subliminal issue/attribute/state of being that has a made a sudden significant hit on the neural interstate. Dang, that is deep. 201010191150.jpg Ok, but back to being just like the person I was when I was 15. I still get stuck on the same kinds of things. I remind myself of being at a school dance. I am just as weird now as I was then. I even aspire for the same kinds of things. This could make for a good therapy session. Why did Warren S have to retire? This brings to mind another place in time and this is pretty funny to me. Thirty eight years ago right after I had been married one year. I only knew Len 3 weeks when we decided to marry….anyway….I was 100% nuts. I was living in Germany, disconnected from significant family and friends, I was sort of a hippie cum officer’s wife…not a good blend, I might add. Anyway, I confided to my only friend in Germany that I thought I was crazy (after anxiety attack #1). She worked in mental health somehow….anyway, she said, “You aren’t crazy, you are depressed. See a therapist.” So I did in Wiesbaden. I tell you I loved that man. I would go in there and weep and carry on. Finally months into this, I looked up out from my dripping hanky to see that my therapist was dozing! He was asleep. You know, that really jerked me out of that spot. I thought, well, it can’t be too serious. I got better fast. Would that be cognitive therapy?

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2 Responses to “What Was I Thinking?”

  1. If you are crazy, you have lots and lots of wonderful company [since I demand to be included in your sphere of influence among your other friends.] In my opinion, cognitive therapy means bothering to take a look at yourself, and laughing at the view. You are my guru.

    • drycreekherbs Says:

      You are wonderfully affirming…that is a special gift! Need to trade tales with you re: travels. I am in the throws of planning costumes

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