Late Night Email Text to the Posse. I Love the Sisters.

Today I did the first lab work….it went quickly because I was there at 7:00 am –just a little hyper vigilant. And it was social, social, social. A former student did my EKG although I couldn’t remember her name. I met Babs in Georgetown for shoe wilding at DSW where I bought one more pair of orthopedic uglies and two pair of podiotrist-says-against- regulation-flip flops (but oh so cute). We went to lunch, then Steinmart for earrings and a maxi dress. Babs, you are a saint…there is a reason you are the only person who would train with me. You are a great grounding rod and didn’t seem to mind too much when I would swing from prattle about the Food Network Channel Drive Ins, Diners, and Dives to cremation. We split…I went to see Edward and Mint Salon folks for an additional boost. Edward has an almost life-sized tattoo of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Technicolor on his forearm now. Plus he has sent me a picture of a healing deity from (?). Covering all bases…He is precious to me. Anyway, taking Susan L’s advice, I left a message with Jose P., GYN and FORMER infertility doctor, to please call me. Dang, it worked fast, Suz! He called and we did a little phone tag for a while. Then we finally spoke and I hit him with all my questions and anxieties (83.) I did another round of pros and cons of bilateral mastectomy to lumpectomy. I am paraphrasing here: He said, “Do you want me to call Dr. Lairmore and tell him you are really tied to your self-image? Do you want me to tell him you are worried about death and dying and being scarred?” I said, “Yes, and I love you.” He said, I will call you back by tomorrow. He called 15 minutes later. He said: “No, you do not need a full, single mastectomy now. Too soon for plan B. Do plan A first. I am glad I could only make a partial scene and it was on the phone. I feel so much better. He said I would have a dent on the side and if it makes me nuts (he knows me), he will help me get reconstruction. I think he thinks it won’t make me crazy in the long run. Dr. Lairmore also told Jose that I can call him and talk if I want/need. OF COURSE, I have always been high maintenance, but the BIG C really does it to you….makes me crazy as a loon, quiet and hiding under a rock, and ????? It is a wretched roller coaster ride. And I have seen the old BW movie Camielle too many times. Drama, drama, drama. Camille_2.jpg


Ok, by now it is time for this this email to be DONE. I talked to Len 16 times during the day. He has stepped up to the plate. A good man, and, as his dental hygienist says, “Elegant.” So then to the part I dreaded most, seeing and talking to Mom. It was very good I think. She was dear and tender and I was goofy and pragmatic (for 20 minutes) then I did a tiiiiiiiny tear up. It is all good, I think. Brother Bill and his Mary came over and we all chatted….I feel very good right now. Could be medicinal liquor.

Trip cancelled to San Miguel already done. Boo and Hiss. Vivian B. former BISD, has been giving me encouragement from her husband Dudley to hold off cancelling Boston and that has been nice too. I am not going to cancel Boston or Hawaii yet. Oh please, oh please, don’t let me unravel badly. I mean there are a hundred degrees of unraveling. I want degree 1 and stage 1! Oh, also Fr. David called today. Very good talk. I told him he couldn’t be nice to me. He said, “This will be easy for me.” We both chuckled. He knows who he is –and for me, I like it.

Tomorrow, I will wish I had been more judicious and edited more!

Posse, you are the best. I promise I won’t do too many late night emails…hey, better than phone calls!   You all give me wisdom when you don’t even know it. Thank you. Ann reminds, me that I used to say, “Leap and the net will appear.” It will. Thanks chicks for holding up the net!

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