OK, Layin’ in Bed Drinkin’ a Honey Moon Brewsky: Count Down to Surgery

This reallly is the ultimate decadence. I like Honey Moon, Summer Ale. A tasty, light summer beverage….also good with ice and the traditional orange slice. BLUE-MOON-HONEY-MOON.png

I have been working reeeeeeeeeeallllllly hard to be busy and not thrashing around with the heebie jeebies. Less than three weeks ago, I might be heard to say, that the three things I wanted always to avoid were: fear, regret, and guilt. Well, guess what? I think in the past two weeks I have become familiar with all three of these wretched states. Big talk is just that, big talk. I just THOUGHT I knew what I was talking about. Hardly an hour goes by that I don’t feel some fear, regret, and guilt.

So let me think what have I been doing to keep busy–I have mowed the yard, had lunch with both Barbara and Nina, drinks with Jackie, happy hour with the Becky & Bob, spent two days in Plano with Mary for her hip replacement, visited with Sally and Jay, been to the podiatrist, watched the Food Network with Len, and gained 4 pounds.

The trip to Plano was an excellentt diversion. Mary and I amused one another on the trip up and commiserated on the odd way people can offer consolation. I hope some day I can make a contribution to helping other cancer victims land on their feet. It has been an almost absurd three weeks. Yes, I have known this beast only three weeks…..seems like 30 years. Blah, blah, blah. I am bored stiff with it and how it hums in my head like a mosquito. Mary taught me that term and visualization. I can never be really free of it. Even when I am having a hearty laugh or an engaging conversation or activity….IT is always buzzing around in my head. AND I am tired of it and now I am just plain mad as hell about it. My sweet friend Vic, age 80something tells me, “You are going to beat this SOB”. Yes, I think I will and I am ready to head into the fray.

I am soooooo much better about the weepiness. Well sort of better. I went for a follow-up appointment with the young podiatrist Friday. Young doctor walked in and said, “Mrs. Krals, how is your toe?” I said, “My toe is great” but then added sobbing, “But I have breast cancer.” The look on that poor kid’s face. He became a podiatrist for a reason. Orthotics rarely cause such a reaction. He was very nice. I don’t have to tape my toe any more. And he added, “You can wear flip flops again, if you want to.”

Hot flashes are interesting and not all that bad now that I have started using my decorative fans I have been collecting for years and, oh yes, I have started using my handkerchief collection too. Why hoard without use? The best home-use fan is a squirt bottle with battery operated fan on top. See photo. DSC07094.jpg

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Len and I went to Austin again today for dinner after church…We did a lot of’checking in’ on Facebook….Whole Foods, Mellow Johnny’s and the Mean-Eyed Cat Bar. Riding around South Congress you can be pretty sure to see some interesting sights.   

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