I Have Shaken Baby Syndrome Feeling Again….AKA Susan Has No Control

Here I am writing in bed when I did this last night and I thought it would be the last for a week. I think I am going to get me a little glass of bourbon. Sounds good to me right now. Very little. I haven’t had much hootch since this started but I feel deserving tonight.

Today was the port implantation and 3rd round of chemotherapy but of course it didn’t turn out that way. Yes, I did get the port and it wasn’t awful but I am glad they are generous with drugs and I want to get used to it fast. Mostly I just don’t want to think about it.

So where did things go awry? The port implantation took much longer than expected; the chemotherapy treatment center has banking hours; and now I am rescheduled for chemo and dressing inspection on Monday. Thank God Susan L hasn’t become sick to death of me….so she will take me then on Monday. I don’t like my ‘pattern’ being altered. I want consistency–I want a pattern. I am like the little girls on the hard top at recess in first grade–I am trying to make my entry to jump rope so I stand on the side and use my arms to mimic the twirling rope–so I can jump in–I want the pattern. Damn it, seems like someone is yanking my rope every which way so I can’t catch on. I am foxy and will get it just about the time chemo is over!

I did learn a lot of port stuff. I put the staff through their paces….not being mean but I want to understand these processes and I want them to know me and know I am interested in what they do. DSC07307.JPG The big hat and flower make me pretty memorable! I think I might look a little like Delta Dawn in the song…”Delta Dawn, what’s that Flower you got on?” Anyway, afterward Suz and I ate at Jake’s Chinese Buffett…good Chinese comfort food. I left my phone at home so Len called Suz to find out what was going on…all is well now.

So the good news is I won’t be a zombie this weekend….But no Mah Jongg here Tuesday because I will be a zombie then.

Nina sent me this precious, precious, precious happy snap of Lolly in the outfit we selected during one of our lunch outings this past week. She is a doll and will knock the socks off of their friends at Tommy’s 50th class reunion. IMG_1864.JPG

Time for a sip of bourbon….I want to get finished with the book I am reading Names on a Map….so so at this point. I loved State of Wonder and I also am enjoying Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter and audio book.

My nurse navigator gave me some things to look over that she wants to give new patients. I think it is very important NOT to give new patients a spiffy pink bag packed with handouts….it would be like visiting an exhibit hall at a conference and coming home with 10 pounds of stuff for the trash can. So I am thinking something short, dramatic, engaging, and of course informative. Hmmmm, this is a good challenge.


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