Overnight in San Antonio and Self-hypnosis

I drove to San Antonio for the first time on my own since June–I think. It was very easy although I did have to think hard a few times about where things were supposed to be—It was wonderful to be with Mom even if it was barely 24 hours. Billy and I went to the commissary at Randolph AFB, my real home town, and had a nice visit….how is it he is so mature and responsible? He used to be so six years old.

On my home I went to the Austin Lexus dealership to get my oil changed and new phone calibrated with the car—I haven’t been there in a few months because it is just as easy and much cheaper to get regular maintenance done locally—Leapin’ Lizards! I didn’t recognize it. I thought I was at the 4 Seasons Hotel. None of this is an exaggeration. Not one bit. They have big plants in the drive throughs, a huge coffee shop complete with granite, pastries, fruit drinks, cookies, organic fruit, chai, expressos; a lobby that looks like it came out of Architectural Digest; and hellllllllo—a boutique. Not a boutique that sells Lexus logo stuff. No. Aromatherapy candles, cashmere sweater dresses, pashminas, gold and silver jewelry, stationery, cook books, hats, and objects de art for the home! I am still stunned. After the Lexus experience, I went straight to Billy Bob’s Burger palace for Jackie and Patsy’s birthday club. I loved it. Lolly was rockin’.

Ok, now to Dr. E, my new ‘other’ therapist. This one is to teach me self-hypnosis. The first session was, I guess, about making sure I am not criminally insane. The idea is that when I have one of the hot flashes from hell and I can’t sleep, I can instead do self-hypnosis. I don’t have much to add now because the learning hasn’t started. I do have a ‘Hot Flash Symptoms Diary’ where I note how many and the severity…mild, moderate, severe, and very severe. Here are the attributes of very severe. Lasting up to 45 minutes; boiling heat, rolling sweat, difficulty breathing, felt faint, felt dizzy, feet and or legs cramping, change in heart rate, slightly sick to stomach, feelings of distress, urge to escape, and difficulty functioning. I am happy to report I am in the moderate zone. I would want drugs not hypnosis if I were in the severe category. Dr. E was pleased to tell me that he and Dr. R had published their findings in Oncology. I like things like this so I am game. Perhaps if I master it at all I can use it during the DARK and GLOOOMY days. I reallllllllllly want to self-regulate during these times. I mean they are DARK and GLOOMY. Dr. R says depression is a very common steroid side effect even though at the onset you feel euphoric. I mean when I start coming down—I plummet.

I am having a glass of prosecco. I must remember not to drink it like water– it is tasty.

Len is taking me to chemo tomorrow….Susan has gone to PA with Bill. I will miss her sorely….and I have already told Len he cannot pace around or watch sports on TV while in my chemo pod. He is a good man and will make it work for me. I walked 6 miles today!

I am reading a very good Jane Gardam book….I like her writing…this one is called Queen of Tambourines. Verrrrrrry British funny. At the same time I am listening to Charles Todd audio book….I can’t remember the title but I like it. Although not totally about PTSD, it does address it from the ‘shell shock’ WWI point of view. A good mystery. I can’t wait to start reading Thereby Hangs a Tail—dog detective story. Belinda sent me Estrella’s Quinceañera, a young adult book which has a glossary of spanglish 101…could be useful in San Antonio! Also in the book pile is Empire of the Summer Moon recommended by Becky and Bob and A Secret Kept by Tatiana de Roskay who wrote Sarah’s Key. I am reading a lot.

Yippee! It is going to be cold as a witch’s tit tomorrow. I love it. AND a 70% chance of rain.

Belinda and I are thinking of a February outing to an arts and crafts school….she has her eye on North House Folk Art in Minnesota–I would want to take pine needle basketry or lace knitting. I am leaning more to NC at the John C Campbell Folk School for pine needle basketry, KALEIDOSCOPE making (I have always wanted to build one), and exploring the world of portraiture. I haven’t even looked at Arrowmont in Tennessee yet. I think weather could be a consideration.

Ok, I have to close this and charge my battery. I am very determined to write this week about Frances Davis, my real, first education mentor from Harmony Elementary School and getting thrown out of the Bison Movie Theater in Shawnee, OK for looking under the bathroom stall. And while I am doing that I might just write about my childhood with my cousins. I looooooved that part of my childhood. Ok, I am whipped. I just looked down and see that my hands look like chicken feet. That and ingrown hair. Damn.

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