This, That, and the Other!

I am a mad woman once again. I’m in SAT for Mom’s 91st birthday….I have been mistakenly saying she is 92 because I cannot subtract, or for that matter, add, multiply, or divide. I am committed to not understanding it or caring about it. Hence the shopping intrigues. People give you goodies for paper and coins. It is very stimulating and fleetingly fulfilling.

Back to Moma! I like to call her that….mostly I refer to her as Mom or Mother but remember when I used to call her Moma. Sweet. We have done nothing much. Brother Bill has been over here quite a bit to visit. Things aren’t going well at his house. Friday when I got here he had a Tri Tip Roast in his head that meant he was going to cook one for us. I wasn’t interested in it until he put in front of me…very tasty. My contribution was a skillet of blistered Shishito peppers that I learned about while in San Miguel. Now I can’t get enough of them. They are totally sweet with no heat at all and rich in vitamin C and A. I count it as salad.

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Mom: She is still beautiful, an invalid thanks to that damned stenosis of the spine, and smart, smart, smart. She reads every word in the paper and likes to tell me things she has read. Since I never read the paper, I am always surprised. Who knew? Oh, yes, I do like the San Antonio Express. Always good to know about recent sightings of the Virgin Mary on garage doors and the like. IT is like reading the Star with real live neighbors as the celebrities. I don’t ever want to make the headlines.

I have been making a list of funny things Mom says and does. I will try to get a few down for my memory bank…never hurts to make a deposit when I can remember to do it.

Mom and I recently were talking about baby animals….she loves to talk about how all baby animals are cute..especially kittens and puppies. I added bunnies. She just looked at me more or less annoyed and said, “Well, I don’t know about that.” She added, “When was the last time you saw a baby hippopotamus?” This is how deaf I will be soon. I get my hearing aids next week!

Mom on black and white animals: I have NEVER, EVER been with Mom when she hasn’t seen a black and white animal and said within 1 minute, “You know, I just love black and white animals. They always look so clean.” She loves clean. I wish I had been born with black and white hair; she would love me even more.

Mom on hemlines: She told me recently that she is getting used to ‘fish tail’ hemlines. That is a term I have never heard, but then she does read the San Antonio Express and I only read it once a month to keep up with the sightings and drug deals.

Mom on fashion: Last time I was home I came out in a spiffy ‘Lagenlook’ (German for layered look) short IMG_4143.jpg dress with zippers all over it. As I came in the den, she dipped her head so she could see better over her readers and laughed saying, “Honey, that is just shocking.” Wasn’t the comment I was going for. I took spiffy dress back to the store. I will do a different approach to lagenlook.

Mom and more fashion commentary: Mom looooves pretty clothes and jewelry although she pretty much doesn’t dress anymore….more house robes. If she knows I am coming…and she always does now….she puts on the purple, Ralph Loren PJs I bought her for Christmas a couple of years ago, make up and earrings. Then she wants me to do her hair. She has fantastic hair. I like to remember that I was 14 when she first cut her hair. Daddy was pissed, Billy cried, and the General’s wife told Mom she looked like everybody else with it cut! Also when they cut her hair it weighed eight pounds and was at least 3 feet long. Photos prove it. After the hair cut, she suddenly had wrinkles on her forehead. Proof that wearing 8 pound weights on your hair will make you look younger.

Back to Mom and jewelry. She is always eager to see what I am wearing in the jewelry department even if she thinks my clothing choices are outrageous. I love to make an entrance into the den donning something new such as earrings or bracelets. She likes to say, “Honey, I think you need to buy some more jewelry.” I love that kind of encouragement. Good genes, I guess.

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Mom’s Recollections on Dress: Mom stills enjoys her favorite ‘outfits’ as she likes to call them. Her most favorite was a black velvet dress with a fitted top and scooped neck and ¾ sleeves and a flared skirt with green velvet ivy coming from the hem to the waistline. I remember it too. She was stunning in it…very 1950’s. Another favorite was a black and white plaid sheath with a square neckline…it had a bolero jacket. Sometimes she will even tell me what jewelry she wore with these ‘outfits.’ I came by my vanity legitimately.This is a photo taken right after Len and I got married and we were about to leave for Germany. I didn’t want to go…I wanted to stay with my Moma!

Damn, I do love my Moma. Even when she is makin’ me nuttier than a fruitcake. Example: I cannot multi task and because Mom can’t hear she doesn’t really always know if there is something going on or if another conversation is taking place. One day we were on a ride in the car and I was driving and looking at a map….yes that is very bad for my health and others’ too. Anyway, she just starts talking away about this, that, and the other. It made me crazy and damn, I do love my Moma.  

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