My Lid is Off


Len and I bought new iPhones. Driving to the Apple Store, Len said, “This is my last phone!” I just looked at him and said, “Not me. I figure I get at least four more.” He is really into the ‘last’ syndrome. He talks about his last car, last dog, etc. It freaks me out. I feel like I had better make an appointment at the Bruce and Stiff Funeral Home and make some plans! And speaking of preparing for the end, some many years ago, Len asked me out of the blue, “What should I do you’re your dollhouse if you die first?” It sort of took me off guard…and I dismissed the question—but as the years have passed I have wondered what will he do with it? This spiffy work of art has all my girl friends in it as well as my dog Abbey, and Len! I am the Madame….I spent hours researching bordellos, red light districts, and cribs—I made all the draperies and bed linen…it is really exquisite. But it needs a designation…not the kind of thing you will to a child. Some way or another I determined that there is a bordello museum in San Angelo, TX—Miss Hattie’s Bordello Museum on 18 ½ East Chico Ave. I called them and imagine this…they want it! Now I am kind of sad about it leaving but it is getting a little worn here…kittens over the years have slept inside; the wiring has a short; and the landscaping is hard to care for so it is time. The Director said he would come and get it but I want to deliver it…it really is sad for me…I made it through graduate school working on it. Time to let go of so many things. It may be time but it is sad.


And speaking of letting go….it is also time to say good bye to the 238 holy cards I have been collecting also since grad school.I have so many pretty ones dedicated to all the big saints but also girl and boy scouts, priests, nuns, friends, etc. I’ve been keeping them in a decorative box but no one sees them. So an idea has been hatched. I am sending all of them, unannounced to my former grad school suite mate, Tish. She is a mega Catholic. We haven’t kept in touch, which is my loss,…and I don’t even know that she is going to like this ‘gift.’ She used to chastise me about the collection making it known that holy/prayer cards are not like baseball cards. I plan to enclose a letter with my idea for her new holy card ministry…I am thinking that she could see that they are given out with birthday cards or the like…I hope she will do it for me. I am going to tell her she can’t send them back. A few days have passed and the holy cards are gone! It is the first of many things I must let go.  

Tomorrow Len and I are driving back to SAT for the 5th time in 6 weeks…we will stop and see Mom for about a half an hour then dinner at the Liberty Bar and Grill, then on to see the Spurs play the Celtics at the AT&T Center. Spurs won but not the slaughter I hoped to see. Tasty margaritas served from Taco Bell.

Friday I am having an MRI on my breasts. I am saying I am not afraid. However, I am nervous about it for these reasons. I just did glib remarks about my journey with cancer, which is an open invitation for disaster; I feel good; I have never had once since my diagnosis; and cancer is so damned mean, it might just have come back. My oncologist said she didn’t find anything with the scheduled exam; the lab work was fine, but that my kind of cancer is sneaky and pushy so she wants to stay ahead of it. Creeps me out. OK, as indicated time has past and hooray, the MRI came back with nothing showing up. Honestly, this was the first time since the treatment, that I was really spooked.


I miss Steph so much…I am greedy with laughs. We just zipped along IH 35 eating and laughing—we went to San Antonio and stayed at Belinda’s condo guest suites…B took us for fine Tex Mex and good conversation. Steph now sees where I want to move…sorta want to move. We looked at the 2 bedrooms on the 11th floor. BIG BUCKS. Then when I get back home to the thicket on the dry creek I realize how blessed I am. Steph and I always take a couple of photos to commemorate our visit….This year we spent a lot of time at Denny’s up and down the interstate…the last was the one in Jarrell. It is one of two Denny’s in the US that serves beer….I think I have written this previously.


Time before last that I was in San Antonio, I went with Belinda, James, and Carol for Belinda’s pre-baptism. Her family had her baptized into the Church of Christ—she married James a good Catholic boy…so according to the Catholic church they have been living in sin…her Catholic Class has been interesting. I am not sure that she and James are interested in getting married again with the Mother Church’s blessings. I admire her for her tenacity and she is a seeker…both good. I am wanting her to have a first communion and wear a white frock and veil. I won’t miss that on a bet. Afterwards James treated us to lunch at Paesanno’s Italian Restaurant.


Thinking about the Ames Brothers song, That Old Gang of Mine. My book club gang is splintering away. Patty sold her house and is moving to Colorado. She is smart to be taking charge of her life–I admire her and I hope I can do that instead of having Baby David move me into a trailer on the back forty with a part-time sitter who drinks beer all day and smokes too.


I saw this on Facebook and it just cracks me up. Oh to have the nerve to do some of these things. One time Jackie and I stood outside the HRD door with our backs pressed against the wall. When anyone would come out the door, we would jump up and down yelling, “Surprise.” Hardly anyone thought it was as funny as we did…mostly they were scared! Damn, we laughed so hard.


This last week the Killeen Birthday Club celebrated the November birthdays….I couldn’t hear a thing. Jackie gave me a card that had speaking but I couldn’t tell what it said till the next day—it was hilarious. Here’s the point, I am going to be miserable the more hearing loss I get. Bette and Penny couldn’t hear too much either.  

I am making Chicken Gnocchi soup—and this morning I made two bundt cakes. Winter weather comes along and I want to bury nuts in the ground, start fires, and stay in my robe all day.

I used to go around saying, “Leap and the net will appear.” But now I think since Len has bought his last phone and soon his last car, we should start taking up Buckee’s Travel Store philosophy, “Live life with the lid off.” I like that. IMG_8885.JPG


2 Responses to “My Lid is Off”

  1. Oh Susan, I want to keep this posts near me and re-read it on blue days. You are just the most amazingly wonderful spirit…I have missed so much not having you in my life FOREVER…!

  2. Wish I had spelled posts right, but I probably really did mean every one of them instead of just this one…

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