Hello Journal, My Old Friend, I’ve Come to Talk to You Again.

Sort of like the lyrics from the Sound of Silence but with me there is no silence…always lots of chattering monkeys in my head—nothing weird, just energy and electrical current.

So recently I received an email from WordPress my journal/blog software…seems I have an uninvited reader….I am not keen on this….so, soon I will be masking whatever attribute that provides access. Anne Lamott recently wrote something so awesome about readership and who really cares…It is absolutely not in the same context but I like it never the less. Point is these are my thoughts. A few friends only have been invited to read if interested but that’s it…and I have zero interest in writing for other’s comfort or approval. The words and observations come from my kaleidoscopic brain.

This is one of the segments I like so much from her blog https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott –and oh, by the way, this is not a response to anything and not about writing necessarily but living. May 12the entry: “…Yet, I get to tell my truth. I get to seek meaning and realization. I get to live fully, wildly, imperfectly. That’s why I’m alive. And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. Every single thing that has happened to me is mine. As I’ve said a hundred times, if people wanted me to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better….” I just love how she expresses herself…. Talk about social courage….she’s got it.

OK so back to my ‘ground clutter’ as weatherman, Rusty Garret says. Cool. Wikipedia, the most unreliable source says, that clutter is a term used for unwanted echoes in electronic systems in relation to radar. These echoes are usually returned from the ground, sea, rain, animals, insect, chaff (?) and atmospheric TURBULANCES, that might cause serious performance issues with radar systems. OMG….I love this analogy to my thinking….I like echoes for resonating, I like turbulence for sure, and I might like chaff but not chopped hay or corn husks…. But ok this works, rubbish, schlock, etc. Definitely chaff will work. All this just because I want to call my routine thinking ground clutter. Marsha says I operate at 30,000 feet so maybe ground clutter is appropriate. And that’s just today. Mostly I think my thinking (just a little metacognition), is joyful and eclectic. This is a good article on brain clutter. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/06/books/review/Lehrer-t.html?_r=0

I am not on drugs. It just sounds like it. I have been to San Antonio for a couple of days with Mom…very good and her stories get better and better. She cuts to the chase for sure. Billy had a hilarious misadventure with her the other night when he got locked out. He called her and that began a stream of hearing impaired issues. Not funny to most people and in fact I know some who would consider it cruel to be making fun. BUT, my Mom made it hilarious willingly. She had no idea who he was or why he was calling.

I picked her up at the ‘beauty shop’ then we went on a wheel chair outing to Central Market. She says she hasn’t been to a grocery store in 5 years. In fact, I took her maybe 2 years ago…Neiman Marcus too. Anyway, she loved it. Then we went over to Belinda’s condo. Now this was a very fine time for Mom. A. She thinks Belinda hung the moon. Pretty and smart. B. Mom loves house stuff. Belinda’s condo is smartly decorated. C. The concierge service knocked her socks off. AND, Belinda had prosecco, grapes, walnuts, and cheese. THEN Belinda gave Mom the most recent copy of Society magazine with the Broadways’s advertisement on the back. A beautiiiiful picture of Belinda—full page, heavy, slick paper! Doesn’t get much better than this for Mom..only if I were a thin, brain surgeon, with clear skin, ofcourse. She was socially pumped up.

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I cooked up a ‘mess of beans’ as the late, mean as a snake, Aunt Babe used to say. These were bush beans, potato and, roasted beets from

my garden…also made some Asian slaw with Ramen noodles and almonds, and Central Market meat loaf. Mom’s appetite has come back twenty fold. She ate and ate. She smiled and said, “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in years.” I cooked for her three weeks ago. Here’s the point. She is eating and happy. She thinks I am pretty smart because I know how to harvest vegetables and cook them the old-fashioned way.—no crip beans for her! Nintey three and she is so precious and so tiny.

Brother Bill comes over every morning and stands at the bathroom door while I put on my makeup. It is a ritual with us.

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Let’s see. Katie and I had dinner the day before Pam’s birthday. I love Katie and our relationship is just exactly as Stephanie said it would be. Thank you, Pam. Also I have been a marginal helper for Jo and John who are downsizing. I modeled her Bee outfit for Craig’s list, and moved clothes. I have had a great visit with Marsha earlier this month. She is a willing previewer of vacation rentals in North Carolina. She is also one of my heroes.

Today Ann and I met at Denny’s in Jarrell for breakfast. They no longer serve beer. I complained. I never ordered a beer there but I thought it was so cool that it was only one of 3 that served it. Today I felt absolutely feted. Ann brought me flowers, a bottle of wine, and treated for breakfast….all just because I picked up the wedding dress and delivered to Lila. I told her…I was honored to be asked as it presumed a level of trust. We always have rich conversations…we figure I have had two close encounters with Death (Cancer and car wreck) and spared by Grace. Ann thinks I better start looking for the purpose designed for me. I will. I get it that I am blessed and fortunate. God, what I don’t get yet, is the what I am supposed to do with this time?   

Well for one thing, I have started using up my paper umbrellas and other drink art such as expandable pineapples and sparkles on picks. I like the feel of it…very extravagant. IMG_0451.jpg

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One Response to “Hello Journal, My Old Friend, I’ve Come to Talk to You Again.”

  1. Sally Hartwig Says:

    Your purpose in life and what you’re supposed to be doing with your time?????? The answer is soooooo evident to all who surround you! You’re doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing every minute that you show up for whatever each day offers, seeing it through the unique filter of your eyes and mind and showing it to the rest of us with your own brand of joy and pleasure and humility and love and orneriness and courage and honesty! You are living life to the fullest, and I feel confident there is a huge smile on high when catching sight of you!

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