Archive for May, 2015

I am Screaming Bored

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on May 27, 2015 by drycreekherbs

“Mom frequently told me two things: “It takes a three ring circus to entertain you.” and “Think before you speak.” Hmmmm, and maybe “Birds a feather flock together.

Len tells me that for the past two months we have had rain every weekend or Monday. It is dark and gloomy—very Kaskaesque. I need something new. I have until this Wednesday to decide if I want to go to Cuba next month with the Traveling Aggies. It could be fabulous or not–and very expensive for a diversion.

Two weeks later:

It is still raining; we could be Seattle. It has rained Max out for a couple of weeks in a row and it looks like he won’t be able to come Monday either. All the planted tomatoes and peppers have rotted—the corn looks pretty good though and I hope the potatoes make it.

Since I haven’t written in over a month I should have a few things to relate…I know my reluctance to write is based on how whiney I sound. I have to face it, Mom will never, ever be anything but worse each time I see her. Cee is continuing with chemo for the pancreatic cancer and is fighting the hard fight. And Foy feels suffocated with boredom in his jail rehab center. Al is back from rehab and Carol manages all and I fear for her resilience. These are very sad constants that I can’t abbreviate in my head or heart. The more I think about them, the easier it is for me to despair. This is how people of faith are comforted.   

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Len and I had a happy outing with Susan and Mike to see Pink Martini in Austin—this was my third time to see the group, Len’s second, and S&M’s first. It was a good show—that Storm y is a real Conga gal!

I beat myself raw over my weight gain—but this past week, I rallied- and walked and ate sensibly. I played the Aggie War Hymn in my head–which is how I jump start my emotional and cognitive batteries—it worked great during grad school. I have a visceral response to that music and positive self-talk was helping too. Sooooo, on Monday I walked 2.5 miles in the morning then played Mah Jongg then decided to walk 2.5 more miles. I headed down Blackberry Road and about one mile out, I stumbled over a rock…or something. I careened far to the right on my right leg, smashed my ankle on the black top; over-corrected to my inner ankle bone on same foot; then fell in a heap. It is not a pretty sight to see a beefy girl scoot on her butt over to the shoulder of the road. I sure didn’t want to add insult to injury and get hit by a car. I really could make it a loooooooong story. I did get up, called Len, and watched as my outer ankle inflated like a softball before my eyes. Len brought ice. He kept saying I needed to see a doctor but I could walk so I discounted it. The next day I stayed in bed with ankle elevated and iced—the bruising began in earnest. I hobbled to the dentist on Wednesday for a cracked crown, who looked at my ankle too and sent me off to the urgent care clinic. Bottom line: X-rays showed both ankle bones on my right foot were fractured….basically, broken off, to some degree. Now wearing a giant, heavy booth. Very ugly and inconvenient as hell. Driving is verrrrrry, tricky. I see an orthopedic MD this Thursday. I am totally convinced I do not need this boot. I can walk on the foot….but Len really wants me to wear it until I see the doctor. Ok. It is a very dramatic bruising and I could get a lot of sympathy just with “show and tell.”

What with the weather, and the awkward, big, ugly boot, I have been laying low. The big outing is my personal happy place these days, HEB. How pitiful is that.

Cuba-I am not going, at least not now. It was an expensive trip and I would be going alone. I wouldn’t mind that so much—but the burning desire to go just wasn’t there.

During this uncommon weather, I have burrowed in and read. So far The Heist, The Dinosaur Feather, Boston Girl, Leaving Berlin, Midnight in Europe, What She Left Behind, Orange is the New Black, The Second Son, and The Messenger. And now reading The Nightingale. All but The Second Son have been good reads. I especially liked The Dinosaur Feather, Boston Girl, The Nightingale, and What She Left Behind.

For some reason I missed the expression the ‘human condition’ until Sally H said it in a conversation a couple of years ago. I have no idea what the conversation was about but I have thought of it soooo often. I am going to write about it sometime if I can string my thoughts together. Fraility, regret, guilt, greed. I think those are just a few words that will be included. Does the human condition have any positive words associated with it? Stephanie and I are talking about it too. And I really want to talk to Marsha about it for the Buddhist viewpoint. I also am very, very interested in a class on world religions—Susan L suggests I look at Southwest Seminary in Austin.

Len and I are trying to become regulars at chair yoga at our local gym. I think it is about all I can do now with the ankle—I will say I was hot, sweating, and now hurting so it must be good for me. Len and I are talking about getting a few private lessons…he needs it for his atrophied back muscles and I need it for everything-mainly balance…I am so clumsy. Well mainly everything.

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