Hello Journal, My Old Friend, I’ve Come to Talk to You Again.

Sort of like the lyrics from the Sound of Silence but with me there is no silence…always lots of chattering monkeys in my head—nothing weird, just energy and electrical current.

So recently I received an email from WordPress my journal/blog software…seems I have an uninvited reader….I am not keen on this….so, soon I will be masking whatever attribute that provides access. Anne Lamott recently wrote something so awesome about readership and who really cares…It is absolutely not in the same context but I like it never the less. Point is these are my thoughts. A few friends only have been invited to read if interested but that’s it…and I have zero interest in writing for other’s comfort or approval. The words and observations come from my kaleidoscopic brain.

This is one of the segments I like so much from her blog https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott –and oh, by the way, this is not a response to anything and not about writing necessarily but living. May 12the entry: “…Yet, I get to tell my truth. I get to seek meaning and realization. I get to live fully, wildly, imperfectly. That’s why I’m alive. And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. Every single thing that has happened to me is mine. As I’ve said a hundred times, if people wanted me to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better….” I just love how she expresses herself…. Talk about social courage….she’s got it.

OK so back to my ‘ground clutter’ as weatherman, Rusty Garret says. Cool. Wikipedia, the most unreliable source says, that clutter is a term used for unwanted echoes in electronic systems in relation to radar. These echoes are usually returned from the ground, sea, rain, animals, insect, chaff (?) and atmospheric TURBULANCES, that might cause serious performance issues with radar systems. OMG….I love this analogy to my thinking….I like echoes for resonating, I like turbulence for sure, and I might like chaff but not chopped hay or corn husks…. But ok this works, rubbish, schlock, etc. Definitely chaff will work. All this just because I want to call my routine thinking ground clutter. Marsha says I operate at 30,000 feet so maybe ground clutter is appropriate. And that’s just today. Mostly I think my thinking (just a little metacognition), is joyful and eclectic. This is a good article on brain clutter. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/06/books/review/Lehrer-t.html?_r=0

I am not on drugs. It just sounds like it. I have been to San Antonio for a couple of days with Mom…very good and her stories get better and better. She cuts to the chase for sure. Billy had a hilarious misadventure with her the other night when he got locked out. He called her and that began a stream of hearing impaired issues. Not funny to most people and in fact I know some who would consider it cruel to be making fun. BUT, my Mom made it hilarious willingly. She had no idea who he was or why he was calling.

I picked her up at the ‘beauty shop’ then we went on a wheel chair outing to Central Market. She says she hasn’t been to a grocery store in 5 years. In fact, I took her maybe 2 years ago…Neiman Marcus too. Anyway, she loved it. Then we went over to Belinda’s condo. Now this was a very fine time for Mom. A. She thinks Belinda hung the moon. Pretty and smart. B. Mom loves house stuff. Belinda’s condo is smartly decorated. C. The concierge service knocked her socks off. AND, Belinda had prosecco, grapes, walnuts, and cheese. THEN Belinda gave Mom the most recent copy of Society magazine with the Broadways’s advertisement on the back. A beautiiiiful picture of Belinda—full page, heavy, slick paper! Doesn’t get much better than this for Mom..only if I were a thin, brain surgeon, with clear skin, ofcourse. She was socially pumped up.

I cooked up a ‘mess of beans’ as the late, mean as a snake, Aunt Babe used to say. These were bush beans, potato and, roasted beets from

my garden…also made some Asian slaw with Ramen noodles and almonds, and Central Market meat loaf. Mom’s appetite has come back twenty fold. She ate and ate. She smiled and said, “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in years.” I cooked for her three weeks ago. Here’s the point. She is eating and happy. She thinks I am pretty smart because I know how to harvest vegetables and cook them the old-fashioned way.—no crip beans for her! Nintey three and she is so precious and so tiny.

Brother Bill comes over every morning and stands at the bathroom door while I put on my makeup. It is a ritual with us.

Let’s see. Katie and I had dinner the day before Pam’s birthday. I love Katie and our relationship is just exactly as Stephanie said it would be. Thank you, Pam. Also I have been a marginal helper for Jo and John who are downsizing. I modeled her Bee outfit for Craig’s list, and moved clothes. I have had a great visit with Marsha earlier this month. She is a willing previewer of vacation rentals in North Carolina. She is also one of my heroes.

Today Ann and I met at Denny’s in Jarrell for breakfast. They no longer serve beer. I complained. I never ordered a beer there but I thought it was so cool that it was only one of 3 that served it. Today I felt absolutely feted. Ann brought me flowers, a bottle of wine, and treated for breakfast….all just because I picked up the wedding dress and delivered to Lila. I told her…I was honored to be asked as it presumed a level of trust. We always have rich conversations…we figure I have had two close encounters with Death (Cancer and car wreck) and spared by Grace. Ann thinks I better start looking for the purpose designed for me. I will. I get it that I am blessed and fortunate. God, what I don’t get yet, is the what I am supposed to do with this time?   

Well for one thing, I have started using up my paper umbrellas and other drink art such as expandable pineapples and sparkles on picks. I like the feel of it…very extravagant.

I’m a Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch

Mother’s Day 2014

I’m a Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch

The Happy Gang

Arthur Godfrey played his ukulele

—————————————

Of all the saddest words

That I have ever heard

The saddest is the story

Told me by a bird

He had spent about and hour

Chatting with a flower and here ís the tale the flower told–

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, an onion patch, an onion patch

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch and all I do is cry all day

Boo hoo, boo hoo

The air ís so strong it takes my breath away

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, oh won’t you come and play with me

Who put me in this bed?

I’ll bet his face is red I call him down with every teardrop that I shed If I only had him here I’d take him by the ear

And make him share my misery

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, an onion patch, an onion patch

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch and all I do is cry all day

Boo hoo, boo hoo

The air ís so strong it takes my breath away

(Feee-you!)

I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, oh won’t you come and play with me

Mom used to sing this to me….she also called me Petunia Blossom. And now this is my new license plate.

I Used to Say I Wanted to be Hit by a Mack Truck Rather Than A Long Lengthy Illness. Not.

I have no idea what happened. None. I’ve been asked so many times, “What happened?” I don’t know.

Wednesday morning I left the house at 8:00 am for San Angelo so I could set the dollhouse at Miss Hattie’s Bordello Museum. I stopped in Kempner for a big ol’ raisin roll. While exiting Richland Springs, wham….I find myself hurling onto the easement facing the opposite direction. The three airbags on my side went off…truly shock is just that. I was stuck in a moment that seemed to last for ever. I am tired of thinking about it and reliving it. I have no recollection of any impact.

There are some very kind people in the world. A nurse named Candy was first on the scene, I think. Then Mando in shorts, athletic shoes, and wearing a lanyard with a whistle was there….I guessed right away he was a coach. There was a school across the street. Then others who were volunteer EMS who worked at the school were all there asking me questions. Could I move my toes, where was I hurt, etc. I asked Candy to call Len. She fished out my phone from the broken glass and made the call. I had a little blood from a scratch on my nose and my arms were bruising fast from the airbags and glass. The side window was smashed out. The long and short of it—the volunteer firemen cut the driver’s door off to get me out. They put me in a neck collar then somehow slid a board under me and then off I went to the ER in Lampassas’ Rollins Brook Hospital- a 45-minute ride with ET Jacob. I was still so stunned. I best remember him talking to the ER before we got there. He gave them my vital signs and said, “She is feisty and well-oriented.” That’s as good of a compliment as I will ever get.

Len came directly to the hospital. After Xrays and lab work, I was pronounced ok…with the promise of soreness to come. Drugs were prescribed. Len and I ate burgers at Storm’s Famous Burgers then drove to San Saba to see where the car had been towed. This was the 3rd time someone said I was lucky to be alive including the Trooper at the scene and the Doctor in the ER…based on the car’s condition. I turned weepy at these comments. I learned that the a truck driver was also involved; he was fine…I surmised that the truck was big…sometimes referred to as a dump truck and another time as an 18-wheeler. I still have no idea what kind of vehicle it was. I never saw the front of a truck…there was a trailer carrying a big yellow construction vehicle.   

I am home, I am fine, I have no soreness, I have taken no drugs, and I have a new car. I am tired and I am going to bed.

I am blessed and so grateful. I want to think about all my blessings. I don’t want the cognitive awe to pass. I will say that I KNOW I am blessed and I am enormously grateful…but I do find it odd that I don’t FEEL a giant rush. Weird. Shock, I guess. Len is a saint.

Thursday Len and I went to Austin and bought a new Lexus.

I Bet This Summer Will Be ScorchingUntitled 1

Six days in Florida. One day of sunshine. Five days of real rain….all day rain….and sometimes torrential rain. None of this slowed us down. We just talked and laughed more and more. I actually enjoyed it.

In terms of outings, we did pretty much the same things we usually do. We went to Ocala through the horse country, Mt Dora for lunch at the Goblin Market Restaurant, and a movie (The Railway Man) at the Rialto Theater. Duh, I sat through the entire movie, reallllllly liking it and never remembered that our book club read it maybe in 2010. Five minutes I can’t remember, let alone five years.

I love Steph so. Over the years we have referred to ourselves as Old Socks. Something I read in a British novel ions ago…we are just so comfortable with each other. Sarge was a prince, of course. He picked me up in Orlando and poured endless bottles of champagne for us. I am not sure what exactly is so hilarious but we cover so much it is hard to know. This year I went to a neighborhood happy hour. This was a first. So, now I understand why Steph isn’t so keen on it. I saw the cutest little family of Sandhill Cranes. I just love the little guy.

Ok, so I said it rained. That of course had hair implications. The second day I was there, Stephanie said, “Tomorrow I will blow out your hair.” I was thrilled. Immediately I had tiny, frizzy ringlets. Awful, awful, awful looking hair. So next day bright and early, the blow out began. After five minutes. Steph said, “ I can’t do it.” She cuts hair for the entire neighborhood plus hers and she couldn’t do mine. I told her that Edward says I have ‘mean’ hair. She agrees. My hair was hideous until the morning I left. I am not so sure I am going to let it grow out.

Steph has had a serious need to get out of the heat in the summers. So, we have decided to use our travel money to go to San Francisco in July…Len and Sarge both joined the Marine Memorial Club so we can take advantage of their great rates, services, and location. AND they have reciprocal agreements with other clubs all over the US and Europe. We are getting a suite so my snoring won’t drive her nuts and she can shore up and do her yoga whenever. We like this plan. Originally we were thinking of going to Michigan but it just seemed we didn’t know where to go or what to do. San Francisco is good. It damned well better be cool!

Just finished making reservations for Philly-Boston. Len and I will fly into PA, stay with Suz and Bill, then train to Boston to see Carol and Al for just a few days then home. So it is starting to shape up for a busy summer.

Wednesday I drive to San Angelo to set up the doll house at Miss Hattie’s. I am interested to case the joint. Sure do hope it is a good place for my little house to live out it’s years.

I love Antique Roadshow. Love it. I swear if I am ever on the show and given a hefty appraisal, I will NOT say ‘WOW.’

I just went out to the garden. Max has a good stand of corn, green beans, potatoes, and onions; I am surprised, not so many beets! How will I barter with folks? The artichokes are really producing and no carrots at all! What happened? Last year I had tons of carrots. Max did say that he thought he would need to replant. I think he forgot.

OK. Not feeling a fleck of humor tonight. Len’s TV just lost the audio so I think he will be in my den pretty soon. No audio, this is very big.